“Just wait and God will bring the perfect man into your life”
So you waited…and waited some more…and as you continue to wait, most of your
friends are married and you’re continuing to wait for that man of God to just one day just walk into your life and sweep you off our feet. Why? Because you were told since
you were a little girl to just have faith and somehow it would all magically happen.
But now you’re a little bit older, and you are worried, getting confused, frustrated, lonelier than ever and you are losing faith in that storyline…
Remember that story about the 10 bridesmaids? The 5 who slept through everything missed out on the opportunity to join the party? Yes, that story is about Christ returning, but there’s another reality happening there. Could you possibly be sleeping through this season of your life as you simply “wait”?
After talking to Christian men, here are 5 things for Christian women…
10 + 10 +10 = 0
He needs to be a perfect 10 in looks, personality, his walk with Christ and in 25 other categories before you’d even give him a chance. As a result of thinking this person actually exists, you have now developed this belief that ‘there are no good guys out there”. The reason you think he exists is because women who are in established relationships are a little bias and see their man through a different lens. You’re not there yet – We’re not saying settle or lower your standards, but what if you developed a more realistic expectation?
Give them a Clear Sign
Walking past him at church is not a clear sign, nor is purposely ignoring him in public. Many women do not want to give men a clear sign she is interested because she feels he should be the one pursuing her. The problem is men are stupid when it comes to this stuff and don’t pick up on your subtle hints. Although pretty much all men would agree they should pursue, they would all say “I wish she made it a little more clear she was interested in me”.
The reality is most single men in the church have never been in a long-term relationship before, nor have they kissed a woman, or even truly asked a woman out. This is scary for men and in many cases, it’s out of their comfort zone! Most don’t have any experience in this area. It takes a lot to just walk up to you and strike up a conversation, let alone work up the courage to ask you out. No guy wants to put himself out there if he’s going to get rejected, laughed at behind his back or hurt in the process. It’s more intimating than it looks – Understand it’s not easy.
Don’t Play Them
If you are going out on a date with a guy on a Friday night, while you have a date with another guy lined up for Saturday, as innocent as it is in your mind, understand there are not many guys out there who are cool with that. Want proof? Just tell him you are going on a date with someone else and see how he responds. If you want to be special in his eyes, know this isn’t the same message you are sending back to him.
Disney Movies Aren’t Real Life
Most relationships never have that Disney movie romantic storyline on the surface level – Yet when you hear married couples talk about their first date when they ordered pizza because he completely screwed up dinner, it sounds like the most romantic story ever. Why? Because it all worked out and that’s what made it special. What makes that relationship work isn’t so much the romance, but it’s what you don’t see behind the scenes in Disney movies. Hard work, communication, effort, commitment, compromises, prayer and many many more things to develop a strong foundation. There’s a lot of work to have a successful relationship and it’s easy to forget that when you have this fairytale narrative in our head.
It’s not always going to be pretty.
Although it’s 2017, and men should still be “old fashion” when it comes to pursuing relationships, women still have a big part in this. Continue to pray, and have faith, but realistically this waiting game doesn’t seem to be working right now. Rather than sleep your way through this season of your life, maybe it’s time to wake up and try something a little bit different as you too could step out of your comfort zone.
What do you have to lose?